Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
