they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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