I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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