Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
