Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
How naked do you want me to be?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
