Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize