I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
