do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
