you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
