found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
