the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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