Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think your dad took our porno
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
