I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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