I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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