Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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