New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I love you.
Bad choice
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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