i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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