he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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