I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
