what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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