Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
