that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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