It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
