Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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