Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
