Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Randomize
