But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
