She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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