The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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