Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize