operation have a gay friend backfired
This house was built for laser tag.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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