Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We named our party play list daddy issues
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
