I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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