you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
is it fun? or sober?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
