I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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