): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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