Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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