sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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