If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
