1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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