I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i will never coherently bang her
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I checked into jail on foursquare
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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