He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
