i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize