we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
