its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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