btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
