This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
