So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
