I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
