I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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