i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just pee around me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize