i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
