Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
