He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just cropdusted the office
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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