Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
