I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
