My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
