bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
