She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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