I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
