Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
